Bravery or Bust
In the last few months I have come up with the brilliant idea to make up a list of the things I easily say no to and try to check them off one by one.It's supposed to be an exercise in bravery for me (something that's seriously lacking in my life at the moment), it's supposed to help me with my problem of always saying no when I should be saying yes.
In my life over the years, I've spent way too much time worrying about how things would look, namely, how stupid or foolish I would look if I id something or tried a new thing. Well, I hope to eradicate thing entity from my life- starting next year.
Why all the way in next year, you ask?
Well, I need to start making the list. You can't start an endeavour without having a fully stocked list.
Where are your heads at people?
So far, I've come up with a flu shot. Yes, you heard me, a flu shot.
Laugh while you can people, but a flu shot is no laughing matter. It's carried in an implement of mass destruction. Yes,I said it! It's the new weapon on the war on terror. It hurts going in and it stings coming out. What kind of person sidles up and asks for one of these without a lawyer present or a brewery size level of liquor in them?
Next, I've got Karaoke (baby steps, people, baby steps). I've been afraid of singing in public since songs were put to vinyl or laid on acetate. The only singing I'm comfortable doing is in the shower and, trust me, no one else is in there but me so the damage level is low. No bleeding ears, no nose bleeds, no money back returns. Other than my living room, my kitchen and, my room it's my only other casualty free zone.
Next up, is a bikini. This is definitely going to take some work. First of all, I'm going to need to win the lotto, then I'm going to have to start making calls to all of the reputable plastic surgeons in Montreal and find one that has little qualms about sucking the life out of the fat I have piggy backing (pun intended) on me since I grew legs and my waist and thighs decided to have a competition to see who could get bigger the fastest.
Then, and only then, will I strut out in public wearing something that the Brazilians have perfected and some of us have been trying to do justice to ever since.
Barring that, I will work my ass out and burn it off the old fashion way.
Wish me luck :-)
Alright, I admit it, spiders terrify the HELL out of me, which is why they, too, are on this list. They have eight legs and can crawl around everywhere! First up, why do they need eight legs? Greedy much?! We are perfectly happy with the two that we have, why couldn't that be sufficient for them? Next, the most deadly among them is about the size of a pin, the largest among them is called a bird eating spider- and it crawls on the ground!! How it gets the birds I have no idea but, why should that matter-IT'S A SPIDER THAT EATS BIRDS!!!
My goal is to maybe-possibly-hold one in my hands-but only for a few seconds!
Seriously, I would rather swim with sharks, in or out of a cage, or hang out of a helicopter in a harness over an active Volcano, while taking photos than get anywhere near a spider.
I've held a baby crocodile.Why couldn't that be on the list?
Next, Swim with sharks.
Hang out of a helicopter in a harness over an active volcano, while taking photos.
Hold a baby crocodile.
Baby crocodile- Check.
So far, so good. :-)
So far, I've come up with a flu shot. Yes, you heard me, a flu shot.
Laugh while you can people, but a flu shot is no laughing matter. It's carried in an implement of mass destruction. Yes,I said it! It's the new weapon on the war on terror. It hurts going in and it stings coming out. What kind of person sidles up and asks for one of these without a lawyer present or a brewery size level of liquor in them?
Next, I've got Karaoke (baby steps, people, baby steps). I've been afraid of singing in public since songs were put to vinyl or laid on acetate. The only singing I'm comfortable doing is in the shower and, trust me, no one else is in there but me so the damage level is low. No bleeding ears, no nose bleeds, no money back returns. Other than my living room, my kitchen and, my room it's my only other casualty free zone.
Next up, is a bikini. This is definitely going to take some work. First of all, I'm going to need to win the lotto, then I'm going to have to start making calls to all of the reputable plastic surgeons in Montreal and find one that has little qualms about sucking the life out of the fat I have piggy backing (pun intended) on me since I grew legs and my waist and thighs decided to have a competition to see who could get bigger the fastest.
Then, and only then, will I strut out in public wearing something that the Brazilians have perfected and some of us have been trying to do justice to ever since.
Barring that, I will work my ass out and burn it off the old fashion way.
Wish me luck :-)
Alright, I admit it, spiders terrify the HELL out of me, which is why they, too, are on this list. They have eight legs and can crawl around everywhere! First up, why do they need eight legs? Greedy much?! We are perfectly happy with the two that we have, why couldn't that be sufficient for them? Next, the most deadly among them is about the size of a pin, the largest among them is called a bird eating spider- and it crawls on the ground!! How it gets the birds I have no idea but, why should that matter-IT'S A SPIDER THAT EATS BIRDS!!!
My goal is to maybe-possibly-hold one in my hands-but only for a few seconds!
Seriously, I would rather swim with sharks, in or out of a cage, or hang out of a helicopter in a harness over an active Volcano, while taking photos than get anywhere near a spider.
I've held a baby crocodile.Why couldn't that be on the list?
Next, Swim with sharks.
Hang out of a helicopter in a harness over an active volcano, while taking photos.
Hold a baby crocodile.
Baby crocodile- Check.
So far, so good. :-)
Comments
Post a Comment